The Power of Three Words: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Welcome to my first E-Course! I’m grateful for Udemy’s platform as I hope to share this information with YOU, my Personal Transformation enthusiasts!

In a nut shell:

Discover a powerful 3-word phrase that will increase your Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

Understand why EQ is essential for success in business, relationships, and personal growth.

This short e-course that will teach you a simple three-word phrase… apply it and you will see success in every area of your life. Each module includes key emotional intelligence competencies, a storytelling element, and applications across professional and personal contexts. Using this phrase opens dialogue, deepens awareness, and changes lives—internally and interpersonally.

Lesson 1: Welcome & Course Objectives

1. Learn how EQ:
   • Increases empathy
   • Enhances self-awareness
   • Elevates social skills
   • Deepens relationships
2. Define Emotional Intelligence as the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence emotions—both in yourself and others.
3. Explore how soft skills connected to EQ impact:
   • Leadership
   • Negotiation
   • Interpersonal relationships
   • Career growth and salary potential
4. Recognize that people with high EQ tend to earn more money.
5. Apply the 3-word phrase in a variety of contexts:
   • With coworkers, bosses, clients
   • In parenting and friendships
   • In self-talk and reflection
   • Even with strangers
6. Begin to shift both interpersonal and intrapersonal communication for lasting emotional growth.

Lesson 2: Introduction

• Introduction to the Thera Storm’s logo featuring a fingerprint in favorite colors.
• The fingerprint symbolizes that:
  • Every client, situation, and person is utterly unique.
  • No two experiences are exactly alike—just like fingerprints.
• A powerful story illustrating how assumptions can mislead.
• Emphasizes the danger of presuming shared experience in grief or trauma.
• Highlights the importance of:
  • Pausing to ask before responding.
  • Recognizing the vast range of emotional responses to similar events.
  • Creating space for the client’s unique narrative to emerge.
• Emotional intelligence isn’t built solely on education or credentials. Nothing replaces the healing power of:
  • Being a safe space
  • Listening without judgment
  • Being emotionally present
• Each story shared is as personal and individual as a fingerprint.
• Introduces the concept of radical curiosity:
  • A deep, intentional commitment to approach each person and situation with openness.
• Radical curiosity forms the foundation of the core 3-word phrase.
• It’s both a personal and professional commitment to stay curious, not conclusive.

Lesson 3: Objectives Deeper Dive

1. Understand the prefixes:
   • “Intra” = within oneself (internal)
   • “Inter” = between people (external)
2. Learn how emotional intelligence (EQ) operates on two levels:
   • Intrapersonal (self-focused)
   • Interpersonal (relationship-focused)
3. Identify the three pillars of EQ being developed:
   • Empathy:
     • Intra: Compassion toward your own thoughts and feelings
     • Inter: Understanding others’ emotions and perspectives
   • Awareness:
     • Intra: Self-awareness—recognizing your own emotions and behaviors
     • Inter: Social awareness—noticing emotional cues in others
   • Mood Regulation:
     • Intra: Managing your own emotional state
     • Inter: Positively influencing emotional dynamics in interactions
4. Prepare to apply a 3-word phrase that builds EQ internally and externally.

Lesson 4: The Secret Sauce

1. “Tell Me More” is a simple yet powerful 3-word phrase.
2. It enhances emotional intelligence by encouraging deeper listening and reflection.
3. Using this phrase helps:
   • Foster deeper understanding
   • Build stronger interpersonal connections
   • Promote empathy and curiosity
4. It can be used in:
   • Interpersonal situations – to connect with others
   • Intrapersonal situations – to explore your own thoughts and emotions
5. This section will use stories and real-life examples to show how “Tell Me More” can be:
   • Understood clearly
   • Emotionally relatable
   • Applied immediately in your life

Lesson 5: INTER-Personally

Core Concept: “Tell Me More” as a Tool

• Encourages deeper sharing, understanding, and connection.
• Signals genuine interest and fosters emotional safety.
• Builds empathy by helping us see others’ perspectives.
• Useful in both professional and personal relationships.
• Prevents assumptions and misinterpretations.

Application Stories and Lessons

Story: The Gym Trainer in Portugal

• Trainer made assumptions based on stereotypes and defaulted to appearance-focused questions.
• Missed an opportunity to ask: “Why are you here? Tell me more.”
• Lesson: Professionals must stay curious and avoid projection.

Story: School Counselor & Childhood Divorce

• Counselor made an assumption with: “It’s not your fault.”
• This introduced doubt and confusion.
• Lesson: Don’t project common narratives onto unique experiences—ask first, listen deeply.

Story: The Pencil Eraser & Unresolved Grief

• A husband’s disproportionate reaction to a lost eraser tied to unresolved trauma of losing his mother.
• Friend’s judgment shifted to empathy after she said: “Tell me more.”
• Lesson: Emotional outbursts may be connected to deeper unresolved pain.

Story: Missing the School in Rome

• Daughter says, “I miss my school in Rome.”
• Parent assumes it’s about friends/teacher—but it was the symmetrical building design.
• Lesson: Even with loved ones, assumptions can mislead—“Tell me more” opens clarity.

Final Reflections

• Emotional intelligence ≠ constant emotional deep dives.
• It’s about pausing assumptions, making space, and asking others to elaborate first.
• “Tell me more”:
  • Builds trust.
  • Deepens communication.
  • Strengthens both personal and professional bonds.
• This phrase has universal relevance—beyond therapy or grief—it’s applicable in everyday life.

Lesson 6: INTRA-personally

Core Concept: “Tell Me More” Intrapersonally

• Use “Tell Me More” as a self-inquiry tool when facing strong emotions or challenges.
• Helps identify underlying beliefs, thoughts, or patterns.
• Encourages self-awareness, emotional regulation, and mental clarity.
• Promotes curiosity instead of self-judgment.

Practical Prompts to Ask Yourself

• “I feel frustrated — tell me more about why I feel this way.”
• “What can I learn from this — tell me more about the opportunity here.”
• “What thought or belief is underneath this emotion?”

Key Lessons & Stories

Story: The Bartender Dream

• Trigger: Husband casually shares post-retirement dream of bartending.
• Immediate internal reaction: Rage.
• Through self-inquiry, discovered resentment about always sacrificing her own career.
• Outcome: Emotional shift from anger to empathy and clarity on her own purpose.
• Lesson: “Tell Me More” helps untangle intense emotions to reveal deeper needs.

Story: Hearing What Wasn’t Said

• Daughter says: “We are out of bread”, internalized as: “You’re a terrible mom.”
• Boss says: “Numbers are low”, internalized as: “You’re going to be fired.”
• Lesson: Self-reflection helps us notice when we’re projecting fears or assumptions.
• “Tell me more” fosters objective thinking over automatic self-blame or criticism.

Naming Emotions More Precisely

• Sometimes we just feel “off” — not everything is simply happy, sad, or angry.
• Consider more nuanced feelings: dismissed, excluded, invisible, inferior, etc.
• Helps trace back to root causes like unmet needs, exhaustion, hormones, or past wounds.
• Lesson: Descriptive emotional vocabulary enhances clarity and compassion.

Emotional Regulation & Nervous System

• Pausing to self-reflect with “Tell Me More”:
  • Calms the nervous system.
  • Reduces emotional reactivity.
  • Brings awareness and control over thoughts and behaviors.
• Lesson: Self-inquiry is a powerful act of emotional intelligence and self-care.

Lesson 7: Conclusion

• Key Takeaways: The Power of “Tell Me More”
  • A small phrase with big impact—fosters curiosity, connection, and compassion.
  • Works both interpersonally and intrapersonally—in conversations with others and in self-reflection.
  • Promotes emotional exploration and a deeper understanding of thoughts, feelings, and motivations.
  • Enhances emotional intelligence by encouraging sensitivity and thoughtful inquiry.
  • Strengthens communication, empathy, and relational trust.

  Closing Message

  • This tool is simple to use and easy to apply in daily life.
  • Practicing it regularly can lead to personal growth and stronger relationships.
  • Try using “Tell Me More” today and observe how it shifts your conversations and self-talk.
  • Thank you for participating—here’s to your journey in emotional intelligence!